This is the self indulgent Comic Con mega-rant I spewed out last night when I was still on Pacific time and having a hard time sleeping. I didn't think I'd post it once I got it out of my system, but I shared it with my beta (because I love her and share everything with her!) and, well, now here it is.
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I wrote this the night I came home from Comic Con, and it's stale and days old because LJ has been down for so long. I'm sure people who didn't go to Comic Con don't give a shit about this, and people who did probably don't care any more, so long after the fact. I'm posting it anyway, even though my righteous indignation has faded, just because it's fun telling people to suck my dick! :D Once LJ is back up, I'll probably move this over there, but for now, my spew resides here.
I wrote this the night I came home from Comic Con, and it's stale and days old because LJ has been down for so long. I'm sure people who didn't go to Comic Con don't give a shit about this, and people who did probably don't care any more, so long after the fact. I'm posting it anyway, even though my righteous indignation has faded, just because it's fun telling people to suck my dick! :D Once LJ is back up, I'll probably move this over there, but for now, my spew resides here.
For those of you who look at this and say tldr, here is it in a nutshell: I'm laying out my geek cred and telling you to fuck off for dissing my current fandom. Oh, and I add an impassioned plea for a picture of Andrew Garfield's shoes.
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About a week before Comic Con, einfach_mich wrote a blog post about the misogynist undertones of hating on Twilight, spurred, in part, by the recently resurrected quote by Steven King comparing Twilight to HP. I kind of rolled my eyes a little bit and was all: oh no, not again, and does everything have to be about women empowerment, blah blah blah, especially because I remember when that quote first went around and I was all: “Rock on, S.K.!!” And my sister and I teased my niece (her daughter) into a frenzy way back when, insisting that the writing of the Twilight books was crap compared to the writing of J.K. Rowling. How yeah, Twi was a definitely good story telling, compelling characters (I did devour the books, after all), but never in a million years would we call it great literature. And Bella vs. Hermione? Seriously???? (She got soooo mad; it was hilarious! Sorry, B., but it was! I LOVE YOU!!!) There were even some twitter responses to Jeanne’s post that suggested you were a bad feminist for hating on Twilight. I may have passive aggressively tweeted a response that I would forever reserve the right to mock Twilight!! And I may even have made a snarky comment or two about all the peeps camping for the BD panel outside of Hall H, along the lines of: bitches be crazy!! (Said with love, bbs. Said with love.)
Then a funny thing happened. Everywhere I went during Comic Con, every panel I attended, someone made fun of Twilight, and by extension, its fans. Or, not even by extension, but straight out, like the guys on the shuttle bus, the very first day, gossiping about those crazy Twilight Mom people under the tent for Hall H. Yes, they were going to keep FAR FAR AWAY. I, of course, turned my badge so that my “Professional” designation was showing, and not my “Twilight Fan Panel” side, even as my Mama Bear instincts were beginning to kick in.
Er… Jeanne… maybe you were on to something (YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BABE!!).
Underworld made sure to mention how they pitted vamps and wolves against each other long before you know who. Lots of we don’t sparkle jokes from every corner. Even my beloved X-Men comic books (my first fic fandom), during my favorite panel of the entire Con—the LGBT X-Men panel—cracked a Twilight joke. The final straw for me was walking through the Exhibit Hall on my last morning, trying to soak up some final CC goodness before heading home to real life and some guy was walking through the hall, holding up a small dry erase board above his head with this written on it: Want to hear a joke? And then written underneath: Twilight. WTF?? I mean, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?? *This* is how someone chooses to spend the last day of SDCC2011? Hating on a fandom?
WHAT THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCK???
The thing is, I’ve been a “fan” for many many years. I was a rabid comic book fan. A serious collector. I rented an apartment simply because it was above my favorite comic book shop. I carefully cultivated important comic book relationships, so the owner of the shop would save me the good ones. I HAVE A #1 IRON MAN. And it was considered nerdy and weird and, “I can’t fucking believe you actually read those, hahaha aren’t you kind of a loser.” YES, NOW COMICS ARE COOL AND TWILIGHT ISN’T, WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
I’ve been heavily involved in early online communities, arguing politics, culture, movies, books. I’d go to meet-ups with people I’d met in these forums, way back before it was commonplace to meet people you only knew on line, when you mentioned what you were doing people would look at you like you were GOING TO YOUR DEATH BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU WERE GOING TO BE MEETING CHILD MOLESTERS OR 60 YEAR OLD MEN PRETENDING TO BE YOUNG HOT CHICKS. Yeah, in reality, not so much. Still, not something I often mentioned out loud, because I didn’t want to hear THE JUDGMENT.
I played online games and ran a fan site that was so well known people would ask for my autograph at fan get-togethers (which I went to proudly, and with great enthusiasm). Penny Arcade once said that they were fans of ME. And because the gaming company is awesome, they paid tribute to my dear friend and in-game vassal who passed away, WRITING HIM INTO A QUEST AND ADDING US AS NPCs INTO THE FUCKING GAME. And back then, with those early generation online MMORPGs, people LOOKED AT YOU FUNNY, LIKE YOU WERE WEIRD AND MUST LIVE IN YOUR PARENTS’ BASEMENT OR SOMETHING TO LIKE THAT KIND OF GEEKY SHIT, and I wouldn’t talk out loud about my HUGE GAMING ADDICTION THAT I WAS TOTALLY CRAZY ABOUT FOR A DECADE. Now? Who the fuck doesn’t know someone who plays World of Warcraft? Yes, NOW IT’S SOOOOO COOL AND MAINSTREAM AND WHATEVER.
So, yeah. The hostility toward Twilight kind of reached the tipping point for me this morning. Yes, there’s a lot there to make fun of (AND BELIEVE ME, I HAVE DONE SO). They fucking sparkle. Another editing pass would not have been amiss. I personally cackled when Bella (SPOILER!) got all sad and broody, with her blank-months-passing-pages. I was thinking, this is SO BUFFY SEASON 2 (Oh yeah, I went there) with the I’LL DIE WITHOUT YOU angsty bullshit that particularly seems to afflict teenagers and makes (some) jaded (but still totally sexy) older women roll their eyes.
And just to round out my “fan” profile, I started watching Buffy during Season 6, with arguably one of the most unpopular eps ever (“Doublemeat Palace”) and was still so taken by the show that I BOUGHT A NEW TV BECAUSE I DIDN’T GROW UP W/TV AND NEVER EVER WATCHED IT, SUBSCRIBED TO SATELLITE TELEVISION, ORDER THE DVDs FROM AUSTRALIA BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T OUT IN THE U.S. YET AND I WAS TOO IMPATIENT TO SEARCH OUT ONLINE DOWNLOADS, AND HACKED MY DVD PLAYER TO BE REGION FREE. PLUS I HAVE A PIECE OF THE SET NOW IN MY LIVING ROOM. (When I become a “fan”, I become a FAN.) One of my fave moments of the entire con was sitting having coffee before the Twi panel talking about “The Body,” and I said, “Oh my God, I just got chills,” and my friend said, “So did I!” (WE LOVE YOU JOSS!)
It’s like, *I* can make fun of Twilight because I’m in the fandom, and have a lot of affection for it, and I WRITE TWIFIC, FUCK YOU. But you? Shut the fuck up. I’m sick of hearing it. TALK TO THE HAND.
IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE A TWILIGHT FAN AND STILL BE SO COOL THAT YOU LIKED COMICS AND FAN MEET-UPS AND ONLINE GAMING BACK WHEN THEY WERE CONSIDERED TOO NERDY FOR WORDS AND YOU WERE HESITANT TO EVEN MENTION THEM OUT LOUD. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE ANY OF THESE FORMERLY LOOKED DOWN UPON THINGS THAT ARE NOW CONSIDERED MAINSTREAM COOL, SO MUCH SO THAT 100,000+ PEOPLE GATHER IN SAN DIEGO
PETER PARKER WOULD TOTALLY AGREE.
In my real life, no one but my sister (another closet fic reader) and my nieces knows why I was at CC this year. Everyone just assumes it’s because of my gaming fan shit that I did for years. AND I DIDN’T TELL THEM OTHERWISE. NOR DO I MENTION IT EVER, IN MY REAL LIFE.
Because, you’re considered lame and stupid for liking vamp romance or something (EVEN THOUGH BUFFY AND TRUE BLOOD, ETC. ETC. ARE COOL. WHATEVER).
Here are some of the kinds of things I heard at the Twi Fan meet-up:
“I never really had women friends before. Last year’s Comic Con was a real turning point in my life and I’ll be forever grateful for the friendships I’ve made.”
“The 40s have been great for me. Interacting with all these younger women who are so unsure and critical of themselves really helped me look at myself and be more comfortable with who I am. I feel like I’ve finally come into my own as a woman.”
“I’d never written anything in my life until I read all these great stories and they inspired me to want to try and create something too.”
“I’m so happy I got to come here and meet all these other women who love the same thing I do. I don’t have anybody in my life I can talk to about it at all.”
“I’m more excited to meet the writers in the fandom than the actual actors and celebrities.”
“It wasn’t so much the BD panel I was interested in with the camping out; it was having the shared experience and the memories and finally meeting in person and hanging out with all the wonderful friends I talk to online.”
Do you assholes see what you’re hating on? PEOPLE WITH A SHARED LOVE AND PASSION FOR SOMETHING—IN OTHERWORDS, A FANDOM, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER FANDOM, BE IT COMICS, OR WHEDONESQUE, OR YOUR FAVORITE ONLINE GAME.
At heart, it’s not the source material that’s the core of a fandom; it’s the community, the fans themselves.
YOU ARE SHITTING ON YOURSELVES.
YOUR FANDOM IS NOT SOMEHOW BETTER THAN MINE.
IN CONCLUSION, ALL YOU HATERS CAN SUCK MY SPARKLY ICE COLD DICK.
BTW, I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE SHOUTY CAPS. IT’S A HABIT I PICKED UP FROM MY NEW FAVORITE FANDOM, THE SOCIAL NETWORK, WHICH IS ANOTHER TRAGIC ROMANCE JUST LIKE X-MEN FIRST CLASS!! Mark, you should have grabbed Eduardo and kissed him and licked into his mouth when he was standing in that hallway, soaking wet and dripping from the rain. Oh, how things might have turned out differently! And also, Andrew Garfield, you make the BEST PETER PARKER/SPIDERMAN EVER. YOU’RE SUPER TALENTED AND I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE CAMPED OUT FOR YOU. I LOVED YOUR PANEL AND YOUR FAN SPEECH! I AM SO HAPPY I GOT TO SHARE THE COOLEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE WITH YOU. IT WAS COOL FOR US TOO! AND BTW, DID YOU SEE THE PICTURE OF EDUARDO SAVERIN IN THE SPIDEY SUIT, AND IF YOU DID, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? PRETTY FUNNY, RIGHT? AND IF YOU READ THIS, CAN YOU PLEASE EMAIL ME A PICTURE OF YOUR SHOES FOR MY FRIEND SHOEFREAK37? WHILE YOU’RE WEARING THEM WOULD BE AWESOME. SHE JUST LIKES SHOES, NOT IN ANY KIND OF FETISH WAY, BUT MORE OF AN AESTHETIC APPRECIATION. I TOTALLY BLEW MY CHANCE OF GETTING A PICTURE OF YOUR SHOES BY USING THE WORD FETISH, DIDN’T I? WELL, ANYWAY, WE ALL ADORE YOU AND CAN’T WAIT FOR THE MOVIE! TELL EMMA WE SAID HI!
